Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
God I need to hump something, right now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
