Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
