he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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