I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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