I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
