we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
