Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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