My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
