Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Four minutes until I can fart!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
