I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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