i really wish james franco would like my vagina
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This baby is an asshole
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
