I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
