I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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