my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
