he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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