i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
