Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
