You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
