is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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