So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
