u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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