The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
