Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
