did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
