i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
