Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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