We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
