His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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