I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I smell like Dick and happiness
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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