It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
