I just made out with a guy for $7.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize