i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
