can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
