So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
