Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
