3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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