I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She told me I should be a condom model.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
