Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
