I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
