its not stalking. its research.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
