Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
