Yo dont text me then not text me
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
