Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
