More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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