Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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