just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
