even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
