Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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