a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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