told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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