i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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