How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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