Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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