Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
