i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
this will be a night to untag.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
