Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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