If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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