Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
