At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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