4 words: hood of his car
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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