Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
