I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
