I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
