So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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