Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize