...so i touched it.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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